Friday, July 25, 2008

101 reasons I don't want a blog
(OK, maybe slightly less)

1) I am about as technologically savvy as a walrus. Seriously, picture a walrus tapping away at a computer with his giant tusks and that is about as good as I get. I am not sure that I am going to be able to keep up with all the technology required for this little project. (you'll notice there are no pictures on this blog yet. Again, think of the walrus...)

2) Blogs have to be updated consistently which means that I have to have some sort of schedule. I hate schedules. I fear the commitment they require. What if I can't meet the obligation? How long do I have to keep this up? Do I see myself still writing on a blog in 2012? 2020?I am practically having a panic attack as we speak.

3) I am boring. I know my friends are nice and tell me that I am not, but I know the truth. And I am ok with being boring, as long as its by myself. I don't really want to drag other people into my boringness, which is what opening a blog can do. So here's an advance warning: Proceed with caution! Boringness Ahead.

4) Blogs are for married people. I know, I know, this isn't really true, but married people have a definite advantage in the blog world because if their own life is boring they have an automatic out by writing about their spouse. I on the other hand have a dog. And his life is even less exciting than mine. So if you see any posts about Toby, know that he is my dog, not my spouse, and that my life must be extra boring at that time.

5) When my mom wanted to start her own blog I told her that blogs were lame and basically refused to help her start one. Creating this one means that I have to suck it up and eat my words, just like I did about the extra pair of shoes she made me take on my mission and that turned out to be lifesavers, thus proving that even as an adult she still knows whats best for me.

6) Blogs are permanent. Like tattoos, crack, and cell phones, only the latter of which I have. Sure, you can go back to life without-fill in the blank from list above- but it is whomping hard! I didn't have a cell phone for many many years and my life was full and happy. Then I caved to peer pressure (see next reason) and now I can never go back. Once you have a blog, that's it.

7) I hate caving to peer pressure. Which is what I am doing by creating this blog. Lame friends. Next thing you know, I will be getting a lame facebook account!

8) Blogs are a false sense of communication. You could go forever without actually talking to a friend and still feel like you are keeping in touch. Which in a sense you are, but on the other hand is it really communication if there is no verbal contact? Then again, how good am I at keeping in touch with people as it is? Don't answer that. I know I suck.

9) Blogs can make people weird. Or in my case, just expose the weirdness that is already there. You see, a blog is like a journal, right? And what do you put in your journal? Things that are embarrassing. Not necessarily embarrassing in nature, so much as embarrassing to think about anybody reading them. Do I really want the whole wide web world to know about my random thoughts? Do I even want my friends to know about all my random thoughts?

So why, you might ask, am I writing about not wanting a blog, on a blog that I KNOWINGLY AND INTENTIONALLY CREATED!?!
Because even a walrus can learn tricks. (If you don't believe it check out the walrus dancing to Michael Jackson on you tube!)
Because friends require commitment and I am not afraid of them.
Because if my boringness can serve to entertain someone else, why not go for it?
Because someday I may be married. And my husband had better be more interesting than my dog.
Because my mom is forgiving and I have eaten my words before and survived.
Because there is a convenient little feature on this blog called "delete"
Because sometimes my friends have good ideas and pressure me for my own good. Sometimes!
Because even false communication is better than no communication. Right?
Because everybody already knows how weird I am anyway. What have I got to lose?

So, without further adieu, I give you asklinds.

2 comments:

Rhonda said...

Okay Linds, I am just bubbling with excitement about your blog!! I love this post in particular. I just love how you write and I could read your thoughts all day long. So keep it coming!!! It was so great to see you last week. And thanks again for the sweet gift. You are fantastic!

Kimmers said...

Can I just tell you how much I love you and terribly miss you and totally fit into the number 8 category of why you hate blogs? But get this. I work in Spanish Fork now so I'm down past Springville at least 2 times a week.....which means I should have absolutely no reason stopping me from seeing whenever I can right? Right, if I didn't spend the other 3-5 days a week sleeping, eating myself to death and hiding out in my parent's basement. Okay, maybe it's not actually like THAT but I definitely don't have much of a life. Which brings me to how fun it is to be entertained by your writing. You are really quite talented you know. I can't express my thoughts nearly as convincingly as you are so capable of doing. I agree with Rhonda...keep it coming!

Hooray for creating a blog (though I'm not so convinced I will ever create one of my own) and I make a pact with you that this will not be our only form of communication. I keep using school and work as justification for my horrible communication with EVERYBODY but in one week I'll be done will school and I only work about 24 hours a week. So without homework I will be forced to confront the harsh reality that I'm just lame like that and need to work on my relationship skills a little hard. :D

Anyway, I just had to write a note (which, once I start talking with you, or at you, I can't stop) and say hi! I'll talk to you soon. And I do mean talk. In fact, as motivation to start work on my new goals of communication, don't email or write me until I've called you and we've had a real conversation on the phone! That'll get me going....

Talk to you soon Linds!

P.S. So we've moved on from whales and made it to walruses.