Thursday, July 9, 2015

My Semita Vitae, My Business

I have decided that a renaming of the vagina is in order. As I have been studying (and studying and studying) anatomy I have noticed that there are several structures in the human body that have a derivative of the word "vagina" in them, most notably the "tunica vaginalis" (I mean, aside from the actual vagina, obviously). Which of course got me to pondering on the etymology of the word vagina. So being the awesome procrastinator that I am, I decided to look up its meaning. Turns out "vagina" is Latin for...sheath.

Cue exasperated sigh of disappointment. Yeah, sheath. As in, a place to hold your sword. (When you're not using it for real work, I guess?) What the hell Latin dudes of old?! Is that all women were to you- glorified sword holders? How do you say "lame" in Latin?

So rather than take my lot in life and have my anatomy named according to its relationship to the male of the species, I have decided to overrule centuries of tradition and medical education and rename the vagina.

From henceforth, it shall be known as the Semita Vitae, or Semita for short. And what, you might ask, is the meaning of Semita Vitae? It happens to be Latin for "Path of Life", or just "Pathway" when you shorten it.

I personally think this name is much more descriptive and less male-centric than "sheath" any day. You may or may not walk on that path, and children may or may not be born from it, but it is a path unique to every woman, and much more than just some dude's sword holder.

Cue triumphant music and cheers.

No? Okay, well I guess it's back to studying for me then....

On a final note, the Latin word for Penis actually means tail, not sword. So their own naming system didn't even make sense to begin with, unless I am missing something really important about tails...