Hey Beastie Boys: Make Them Bring It Back!

The best part of the advertisement below, that is. Which is the re-write of the Beastie Boys' infamous 1987 hit "Girls." You know, that irritatingly catchy tune with lyrics like "Girls- to do the dishes, Girls- to clean up my room" and other misogynistic crap like that? Count yourself lucky if your ears have never been blighted by that little ditty : (

Mine unfortunately have, which is the main reason I loved this advertisement when I first saw it a few weeks ago. The video is called "Princess Machine" and it is for a product called Goldie Blox, a building set similar to Legos, developed specifically for girls. The idea behind them is to get girls interested in science and engineering at an early age to hopefully spur them to become leaders (or at least more present) in these fields. (Kind of a big job for some building blocks, but it's a start I guess.)

The ad features 3 friends building a Rube Goldberg type machine to change the channel from some other advertisement trying to sell them pink "girly" things. You can watch it below.

Or maybe here if the video isn't linking. 

There are some great things about the ad: the girls working together to build an awesome machine, their rejection of the idea that all girls must like dolls and pink things, the fact that they are still portrayed as little girls (not masculinized tom-boys) even though they don't fit the "traditional mold", etc. But the very best part of the ad, the re-write of that awful song, has sadly been removed. 

Apparently Goldie Blox didn't get permission before posting the song and some legal tussles ensued, with the end result being that the music in the ad was changed to what you just watched. Which, let's be honest, was kind of boring. 

But not to worry, I am posting the lyrics here for you to learn. Not because I believe that a toy can change the course of a girl's life (I don't), or that girls shouldn't play with dolls or want to be princesses (I don't). Not even because I really don't like the color pink (I don't. But I respect your right to like it). No, I am posting the lyrics for you so that when that awful song starts to play you can stop the internal screaming in your head (oh, is that just me?) and instead sing along with the new, more empowering lyrics:

Girls, you think you know what we want

Girls, pink and pretty, its girls

Just like the fifties its girls

You like to buy us pink toys

And everything else is for boys

And you can always get us dolls

And we'll grow up like them, false

It's time to change

We deserve to see a range

Cause all our toys look just the same

And we would like to use our brains

We are all more than princess maids

Girls, to build a spaceship

Girls, to code the new app

Girls, to grow up knowing

Girls, that they can engineer that

Girls, that's all we really need is girls*

To bring us up to speed its girls

Our opportunity is girls

Don't underestimate girls

Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls

And I am asking the Beastie Boys to atone for the crimes committed against humanity when they penned that horrible song** and let Goldie Blox air their new, improved version for the betterment of mankind! 

I mean, the idea is that a girl can dream, right?

* While I do love these lyrics overall, I disagree with some of the unstated messages in it, like that the fifties was a universally horrible time for girls or that boys are not really necessary/needed. But given that it's either this version or the original, I'll take the lesser of two evils.

**I am pretty sure that the Beastie Boys have repented of their chauvinist ways and are committed to lots of charitable causes these days, which is awesome, but I still think they should let Goldie Blox use this song.