Dirty Little Secret

I have a confession. I haven't washed my hair in several months. I stopped using soap for awhile as well but I have picked that up again. (You're welcome) No, I am not in some sick contest to win a year's supply of shampoo or something. In fact I'm not sure I will ever really use shampoo again so it would be a kind of pointless contest for me. No, my dirty little secret all started out as yet another in a long line of experiments.

It started back in January when I read about paleolithic man. He's a guy who decided to eat like our paleolithic (read caveman) ancestors because he figured it was healthier. I think you could argue that either way but he says it works for him and he feels great so more power to him. Anyway, after eating like a caveman he got to thinking and decided to bathe like a caveman too, which meant no soap, no shampoo, no poofy bath sponge. Basically the opposite of a spa. Just water and his dirty little self.

And guess what? He doesn't stink. And his hair isn't greasy! I even saw a picture and it's true, his hair looks perfectly normal. They still haven't invented smellographs so I couldn't tell you if he smells or not but he seems to still have friends so I'm gonna go with he's probably telling the truth.

All of this got me to thinking, so I started doing some research. It turns out there is a bit of a "movement", if you will, toward not using shampoo. It's called the No 'Poo movement and aside from really needing a name change it actually has some merit to it. Your body tends to be pretty self-regulating and shampoo is a fairly modern invention so really it's not a stretch to think that you could live without it.

In fact, the No Pooers say that shampoo is actually bad for your hair and that getting rid of it will make your hair healthier. This is because shampoo is a surfactant, a type of chemical which strips your hair of its natural oils, leaving it dry and brittle. Hence the need for conditioner to put moisture back in it. In fact, conditioner wasn't even invented until after shampoo became popular and basically then as a remedy for the damage shampoo did to your hair. (Fun fact: people actually used to use the excuse "I can't, I'm washing my hair" in all seriousness because shampoo used to be so harsh that you only used it once a week or so and it was a big process.)

As I was reading about the evils of shampoo I was intrigued by all the No Pooers who said that it also made their hair more soft and manageable as well. So I knew it was time for an experiment.

I decided that I would clean my hair and my body using nothing but the mechanical power of my hands.

That lasted less than 24 hours, during which time I felt so gross I showered twice. The No-Pooers had warned that the first week or two without shampoo your hair would get really greasy but that if you toughed it out it would all be worth it in the end. So I thought maybe I should give it another go. Several websites suggested slowly "detoxing" from shampoo by using baking soda for the first few days. It scrubs the grease out without stripping your hair. So I decided to go for it. And thinking that I would probably need to employ the baby step method for "detoxing" from soap I decided I would start by not using soap on my legs. Then I would gradually work my way up until soap was a thing of the past.

Well, the no soap on the legs was fine. I was actually surprised that I didn't cut myself shaving more often but no problems there. So I kept it up until eventually I wasn't using soap at all. And you know what? I didn't stink. In fact, parts of me that were particularly smelly before, that I expected to stink more, turned out to smell better than when I was using soap. Counter intuitive, no?

As for the baking soda...well...it worked. Sorta. My hair did feel clean but holy static! You'd think I rubbed my head on a thousand balloons a day! Ah, but the No-Pooers foresaw this and were ready with a recommendation: Vinegar.

Now, let me tell you something about vinegar. It stinks. This is true after it comes out of the refrigerator or the cupboard. And it is even more true when you pour it onto your head in a hot shower and it combines with the steam to create a deathly choking vinegar cloud. Talk about chemical warfare. I had to crack the window and stick my head halfway out just to be able to breathe. Forget stripping your hair, at least shampoo doesn't burn your lungs!

But for some odd reason I was bound and determined to see this experiment through. Probably because I am lazy and cheap and the thought of never having to buy shampoo again was pretty tantalizing for someone of my inclinations. So I went back to the No-Pooers to see if they could recommend something besides vinegar, preferably something not in the condiments line. And they did have something: Lemon Juice.

If I was concerned about vinegar I was doubly apprehensive about lemon juice. I have some not very fond memories of cold lemon juice being poured on my head after my hair had turned green from too much time spent in swimming pools. (It wasn't until years later that it even occurred to me that we could have warmed it up a bit in the microwave. Duh!) But I decided it couldn't be worse than a vinegar bomb so I gave it a shot.

And the results were pretty good. My hair felt and looked pretty normal. No more grease or static than with shampoo. So I kept it up. And have continued with it since February. And will probably continue with it indefinitely.

My reasons for doing so are mostly economical and not because it worked wonders on my hair. It is pretty much the same as it has always been. The one exception is when I curl it. My hair is naturally wavy so it can hold a curl if I use lots of product and scrunch it up a lot, etc. But I did notice that after using the baking soda and lemon juice it holds curl much better and with significantly less effort on my part. (part, ha ha). So I like it better than shampoo for that reason.

Like I said before though, I did go back to using soap. This was mostly because I have always used a moisturizing soap anyway so my skin was never as dry as it can get with regular soap. So I didn't notice much of a difference between using soap and not using soap and since I like the smell I figured I would keep using it. (In fact, I always wondered why they don't make men's colognes that smell like soap. Waaaay better than musk, and don't even get me started with Axe. Blech. ) But I still don't use it on my more odiferous areas because weirdly I smell better if I don't. Can't quite figure that one out.

Anyway, I may eventually get to the no shampoo, no shampoo substitutes stage but for now I am pretty comfy with my baking soda and lemon juice routine. I can get a giant box of baking soda for less than $3 and a bottle of lemon juice for the same, but the lemon juice gets diluted so its even cheaper. I don't have to spend time on the shampoo isle analyzing the latest products and smelling every bottle to see which scent I like best. I don't have to feel guilty about spending too much money on a salon brand specialty shampoo and I don't have to deal with the irritation of having the shampoo run out before the conditioner does. (Why!?! I use both in the same amounts so how do they not even out? I think they must be in cahoots with the socks lost from dryerland. Grrr.)

So that's my latest experiment. If you want to recreate it for yourself the basic instructions are as follows: Put an amount of baking soda about the size of a large grape in your hands then scrub it through your hair, especially your scalp and the crown of your head. Rinse. Put two tablespoons of lemon juice and a cup of water into a squirt bottle and spray it on the length of your hair (you can put a little on the roots and scalp, but mostly focus on the rest of your hair.) Rinse. Dry and style as normal. Ta-Da!

I would love to give you more information about this subject but I'm afraid I can't, I'm washing my hair. Oh wait...