A Retraction. Sort of.

I was reviewing a few of my blog entries and it seems that I have some pet subjects. I don't think I realized that I talked about them as much as I did. On the one hand I feel that it makes me even more boring than I thought was and that I should move on and discuss other issues. On the other hand, there are not a lot of things that get me riled up, or even that I am particularly passionate about. (One of my favorite words is "meh" so that should tell you something.) So I think I tend to dwell on those things. And I am not stopping today. So if you are sick and tired of me beating the dead horse of daylight savings time then just ignore this post and try to catch up on the hour of sleep that you lost this week. But if you want to possibly be shocked then keep reading.
You see, I have learned a few things about daylight savings time that have made me reconsider my position on its existence. In case you forgot, I pretty much consider it the bane of my existence. But I am afraid I will have to issue a retraction on that position. Sort of. Allow me to explain.
First, it is important to understand the reason why I hate daylight savings time so much(which I will now abbreviate DST for the rest of this post.) You might be surprised to learn that it has very little to do with the loss of sleep. I actually don't care about that too much. And anyone who knows me knows how shocking this is because I LOVE sleep. Almost more than anything. I would probably rather sleep than eat and I love food. So you would think that losing sleep would be a big deal to me. But in this case, it's not. The reason being that as much as I love sleep, I hate it when it gets dark at 5:30 in the evening. HATE it! It makes me feel so unproductive no matter how much I accomplish. It just makes the day seem so much shorter, despite it actually still being 24 hours. SO, when it comes to losing an hour of sleep in exchange for more daylight, I will take the sun. Always.
Now, up until this week I was under the impression that DST ENDS in the spring and BEGINS in the fall. I realize that is a fairly large mistake to make, especially when I profess such a hatred for the practice. You would think that I would at least understand something I have chosen to despise. I chalk it up to the fact that it is a tricky concept to grasp and I can't be blamed for misunderstanding something as complex as the reordering of time. (See, when I put it that way it almost sounds plausible that nobody is capable of understanding DST. Then I don't feel so bad for not getting a fairly basic concept:)
Anyway, my hatred of DST comes from the fact that I was under the impression that when it starts we LOSE daylight, and when it ends we GAIN daylight. So of course I would hate a concept that I believed deprived me of precious daylight.
So now I have a dilemma (not a dilemna, as I always thought the word was). Do I continue hating DST despite the fact that it actually extends daylight hours, something I like? Or do I admit my mistake and make my peace with the institution?
Well, after much debate I have come to a conclusion. Drumroll please.
I, Lindsey Schultz, will continue to hate daylight savings time. And there is still a good reason to do so. You see, the earth has a natural cycle wherin it rotates on an axis and orbits the sun. The effects of these motions are what account for the various seasons. As it turns out, in the course of this spinning and rotation the days naturally get longer in the summer and shorter in the winter. (I guess that's confusing because there are always 24 hours in a day, but what I mean is that there are more hours of sunlight in the summer.) This results in the longest day of the year falling around June 21, known as the summer solstice, wherin there are 12 hours of daylight. 12 glorious hours! Of course, this is countered by the winter solstice, falling in December, in which the sun gets really tired and goes to bed early. But, from that point on the days get gradually longer and longer, which makes me happy.
So what it really boils down to is the principle of the boiling frog. If you throw a frog in hot water he will hop right out, but if you gradually increase the temperature he will slowly cook his own goose (or frog. I'm mixing metaphors here.) Anyway, the same goes for me. I would like to think that I would be smarter than a frog and hop out of the slowly warming water, but most likely I wouldn't. (Plus I like really hot showers so that would probably work against me too.) So if you got rid of DST I might notice that the days were getting longer or shorter, but it would happen so gradually that I wouldn't wake up one morning in March or November feeling robbed of either sleep or daylight, as I do now. And you wouldn't have to listen to my constant rants on the subject. Like I said, write your congressmen.
So, this is why daylight savings time will stay at the top of my "Things That Must Go" list. But on the bright side, at least I have a better understanding of my dislike of it.
A few other random notes about DST:
There were missionaries in my mission who were from Arizona (the smartest state in the union, due to it's refusal to participate in DST) who actually thought their companions were trying to play a trick on them by telling them to change their clocks. That would be a hilarious joke, but unfortunately it is one that the government continues to play on us each and every year, making it cumulatively less and less funny.
And aside from the government, guess who else is in on the joke? Lobbyists. Yep, lobbyists from the candy companies. And why would the candy companies benefit from DST? Three words: Trick or Treat. Yes, the candy companies are responsible for extending DST so that the little ghouls and boys don't have to go trick or treating in the dark. Kind of makes me wish dentists were more effective lobbyists. Though the downside to that would be SWISH. Did anyone else have to take SWISH in elementary school? It was a flouride treatment that they brought in and you had to swish it around in your mouth for 1 minute and then spit it out and then you couldn't drink anything for 20 minutes. It was awful! I hated it even more than DST and finally convinced my mom to stop making me take it when Alan Erdmann threw up after taking it. Seriously, it was that bad. So I guess I will just have to look on the bright side. I could be taking SWISH in the dark:)