Anyway, my brother Scott posted some comments on some of my posts (seriously guys, thanks for being my friends) and as I was reading them I had to refer to some of the things that I had written. (Seriously, everything I write today seems so complex! Am I really that way or is my brain just freaking out on me? Ok, no more asides for now. Focus Linds.)
Anyway, as I was reading some of my older posts I realized two things: 1) I am very easily amused, and 2) There are a lot of things I said I would write about that I never did.
And if you are as easily amused as I am then you probably might like to read some of my thoughts on these things. That's assuming a lot, but even if you are not so easily amused it may be that you are scientifically minded and have become my friend for the express purpose of trying to figure out what in the heck goes on in my head. And if that is the case, good luck and no hard feelings. I like you anyway and appreciate your sacrifices for the scientific world.
So many many moons ago I posted a poll question asking which hymn I was ambivalent about. The options were as follows:
A) Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd
B) Have I done any good in the world today?
B) Have I done any good in the world today?
C) Ring out Wild Bells
D) Joseph Smith's first prayer
E) Master the tempest is raging
The answer, in case you were wondering, is B) Have I done any good in the world today? Though there is a caveat to that, which I will discuss later.
First, lets get to the hymns that I hate (ok so really hate is a stong word and mostly these are songs that I dislike, but I like the alliteration of "hated hymns" so I'm keeping it.)
First on the list is Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, a song which doesn't bother me too much except for one small thing. As I mentioned before I am easily amused so you will imagine my reaction when I realized that the line of this hymn that states "DEAR are the sheep of His fold" could easily be rewritten as "DEER are the sheep of his fold." Hours and hours of entertainment with that mental picture. Now I just can't sing it without laughing and that is typically frowned upon in sacrament meetings, so I just prefer not to hear it.
Next on the list is a song which I truly despise: Ring Out Wild Bells, which much to my chagrin my mother says she loves. I hate the tune, I hate the lyrics, and I hate that it is only sung once a year on the sunday before new years. Seriously, is there no better song to ring in the new year than one that proclaims in somber funeral march tones "the year is dying, let her die. Ring out wild bells! and let her die!!" Dun Dun Dun!!!!!!! It's just so serious and angry. I really wish that I was musically inclined and could express the mood all these songs portray but you will just have to wait till sunday to hear them I suppose. Oh, and as a warning, if you don't want any of the aforementioned songs ruined for you then I would seriously reconsider reading this post. (Should have said that earlier, now you will think of deer and funerals each sunday. Welcome to my world.)
Anyway, the next on the list is Joseph Smith's first prayer, and I know I am going to get a lot of flak for this one. Stating a dislike for this song is akin to saying you enjoy torturing small animals and you hate ice cream. It's just not socially acceptable. (Seriously, have you ever met anyone who didn't really like ice cream and they said so and the whole room just went silent and then everybody tried to extol the virtues of ice cream and convert the non-dairy imbiber? My advice is to always answer yes when asked if you like ice cream or puppies, even if you are lactose intolerant or have severe allergies. Trust me on this.) So, rather than tell you that the high pitch of this song annoys me and I find the repetition of the last two lines super irritating, I will just say that I like this song. Really. Even more than I like ice cream.
The answer, in case you were wondering, is B) Have I done any good in the world today? Though there is a caveat to that, which I will discuss later.
First, lets get to the hymns that I hate (ok so really hate is a stong word and mostly these are songs that I dislike, but I like the alliteration of "hated hymns" so I'm keeping it.)
First on the list is Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, a song which doesn't bother me too much except for one small thing. As I mentioned before I am easily amused so you will imagine my reaction when I realized that the line of this hymn that states "DEAR are the sheep of His fold" could easily be rewritten as "DEER are the sheep of his fold." Hours and hours of entertainment with that mental picture. Now I just can't sing it without laughing and that is typically frowned upon in sacrament meetings, so I just prefer not to hear it.
Next on the list is a song which I truly despise: Ring Out Wild Bells, which much to my chagrin my mother says she loves. I hate the tune, I hate the lyrics, and I hate that it is only sung once a year on the sunday before new years. Seriously, is there no better song to ring in the new year than one that proclaims in somber funeral march tones "the year is dying, let her die. Ring out wild bells! and let her die!!" Dun Dun Dun!!!!!!! It's just so serious and angry. I really wish that I was musically inclined and could express the mood all these songs portray but you will just have to wait till sunday to hear them I suppose. Oh, and as a warning, if you don't want any of the aforementioned songs ruined for you then I would seriously reconsider reading this post. (Should have said that earlier, now you will think of deer and funerals each sunday. Welcome to my world.)
Anyway, the next on the list is Joseph Smith's first prayer, and I know I am going to get a lot of flak for this one. Stating a dislike for this song is akin to saying you enjoy torturing small animals and you hate ice cream. It's just not socially acceptable. (Seriously, have you ever met anyone who didn't really like ice cream and they said so and the whole room just went silent and then everybody tried to extol the virtues of ice cream and convert the non-dairy imbiber? My advice is to always answer yes when asked if you like ice cream or puppies, even if you are lactose intolerant or have severe allergies. Trust me on this.) So, rather than tell you that the high pitch of this song annoys me and I find the repetition of the last two lines super irritating, I will just say that I like this song. Really. Even more than I like ice cream.
Master the tempest is raging is next on the list and I like the idea of the song but not the execution. In theory, the way that the chorus gets progressively more intense with each line is pretty cool. In actuality it is just too overwhelming to me and the resolution is too brief. I will try to write the idea of this out.
"Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea, or demon or men or whatever may be, No Water Shall Swallow The Ship Where Lies, THE MASTER OF OCEAN AND EARTH AND SKIES. They all shall sweetly obey His will, peace peace be still."
Well, that was my best attempt and hopefully you get the idea. I don't like songs that provoke that kind of anxiety so this one is definitely not on my playlist. (Ha, like I even have any hymns on my playlist. I would probably find too many things to complain about if I did.)
So there you have it. My most hated hymns. I apologize if any of you really really like these hymns and hope that my rant has not poisoned you on them (or me for that matter).
One last thing: the caveat for Have I done any good in the world today is that I don't have any problems with the current version. In fact I am pretty ambivalent about it. But my dad tells me that the lyrics used to say "Only he who does something is worthy to live" instead of "only he who does something helps others to live." Wow. Talk about harsh.
Now, if you will excuse me I have to go listen to the radio to get these songs out of my unholy heathen head. Though if it makes you feel any better there is also a rather large list of non religious songs that I hate, so at least I am not confined to one category in my loathing. An equal opportunity hater, if you will. Hey, whether you accept it or not, some people just don't like ice cream. (I'm not one of those people. I'm just saying.)
"Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea, or demon or men or whatever may be, No Water Shall Swallow The Ship Where Lies, THE MASTER OF OCEAN AND EARTH AND SKIES. They all shall sweetly obey His will, peace peace be still."
Well, that was my best attempt and hopefully you get the idea. I don't like songs that provoke that kind of anxiety so this one is definitely not on my playlist. (Ha, like I even have any hymns on my playlist. I would probably find too many things to complain about if I did.)
So there you have it. My most hated hymns. I apologize if any of you really really like these hymns and hope that my rant has not poisoned you on them (or me for that matter).
One last thing: the caveat for Have I done any good in the world today is that I don't have any problems with the current version. In fact I am pretty ambivalent about it. But my dad tells me that the lyrics used to say "Only he who does something is worthy to live" instead of "only he who does something helps others to live." Wow. Talk about harsh.
Now, if you will excuse me I have to go listen to the radio to get these songs out of my unholy heathen head. Though if it makes you feel any better there is also a rather large list of non religious songs that I hate, so at least I am not confined to one category in my loathing. An equal opportunity hater, if you will. Hey, whether you accept it or not, some people just don't like ice cream. (I'm not one of those people. I'm just saying.)
