I recently learned that this was my friend Skyler's motto:
"I live my life with one motto. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated and never judge anyone unless you've lived their life. I have a huge-ass heart and I love people. I love making them smile. Because life is way too short."
I say I learned this was his motto but really anyone who knew Skyler could see it was by the way he lived it. He loved and accepted everybody he met unconditionally. He was always that way growing up, but I feel like he emulated it even more in the past 5 or 6 years. I don't know for sure but I think this is because he learned to stop judging himself. Which sounds like an easy task, until I stop to think about all the time that I spend worried about what other people think of me.
The truth is that I am far more judgmental of me than anyone else. And that might not be a big deal, except that it in turn affects the way I interact with other people. I'm afraid they will judge me, so instead of giving them the chance I stay quiet and reserved, so they won't have much to go off. But even that plan backfires because then I look like a stuck up snob who won't open up to others.
Sometimes I feel like I have spent all my life trying to play by the rules, cross all the "t"s and dot all the "i"s, all the while missing the entire point behind the "rules". The rules are there to help you play the game, but they are NOT the game. The game is the thing. The game is messy and fun and mistakes are made and points are gained or lost and sometimes you win and sometimes you get hurt. But if you are so focused on the rules you miss the point and the excitement and vitality of the game.
I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm not a sports person so the metaphor is probably off. But I guess what I want to say is that I hope that I can someday be the person that Skyler managed to become so early in life. I hope to get better at opening my heart to others, because when I leave this world I want to leave a huge-ass heart behind. Just like Skyler did. My life is blessed for having known him.
You were right Skyler, life is too short. It was way too short for you and everyone who knew and loved you is now painfully aware of that. You will always be missed. But every time I miss you, I will also smile, because the memory of your example will help me to grow my heart a little bit more. I hope that when I see you again I will have a heart as huge-assed as yours. I love you always, my creek-tubing, wahoo-flipping, 2-am-visiting, cinnamon bear in a red speedo :)
http://www.heraldextra.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/skyler-philip-shimmin/article_c62e38d7-b27f-50a4-9a6e-b5d530d55a36.html
