To: Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Friends, Siblings, Coworkers, College Roommates, Cousins, Second Cousins, Hairdresser, Tom, Dick, Harry, etc.
Subject: IMPORTANT!!!!! Forward attached
To Whom it may concern:
The email you are receiving was forwarded to you by someone who cares about you. They care so much in fact that they were willing to take .05 seconds out of their busy life to put a check mark next to your name in their contact list to send it to you. If you care about your loved ones at all you will do the same and forward it to everyone you know, three times if you really love them. Don't waste time deleting all the previous forwards so that they don't have to open 15 boxes to get to this email. This is urgent and if they really love you they won't mind opening those anyway. In fact they will probably think of you each time they open another box to get to the one you sent and think what a wonderful and caring friend you are.
If you don't do the same and forward it to every contact in your address book you are basically saying that you hate your mom, America, and puppies. And we all know that only the Anti-Christ (Aka Obama if you are the type of person to send this email) is that evil.
Each time this email is forwarded a penny goes to People Approving Rubbish and Crud (PARC). (That's Crap spelled backwards), an organization dedicated to the continuation of mushy, sappy, guilt-inducing, irritating email forwards and other important causes.
If this is not enough incentive for you to forward this email to everyone you know please consider the case of the woman who neglected to do so and later that night had her finger cut off by a thug as part of a gang initiation.
On the other hand you should also consider the case of the woman who forwarded this email to everyone she knew and not ten seconds later her doorbell rang and it was the prize patrol, coming to give her a check for 10 billion dollars!!!!!
So don't take any chances. Start forwarding!
-someone who loves you
Ok, just a few points of clarification. No I have not received any annoying forwarded emails lately, but my family has and has had a hard time deciding what to do about them. So I decided to create an email for them to forward and thought that I would post it here in case any of you would like to read (or forward) it. If you just read the above email and were confused because you like getting or sending forwarded messages may I calmly suggest that you check out another blog. Something along the lines of angelsamongus.blogspot.com, iluvjesus.blogspot.com or rainbowsandpuppies.blogspot.com. Just a thought.
For the rest of you I would like to clarify that I in no way think that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. In fact, much to the chagrin of my mother, I voted for him in this last election. (Calm down, I have known for a long time that I am going to hell, so I'm not worried, and furthermore, I live in Utah. McCain got all of our votes anyway. Now Breathe)
And finally, if I have otherwise offended you with this post I apologize profusely. Though I do question how we have managed to be friends so far if you find this post offensive. I mean, this is pretty benign in comparison to some of my other opinions (such as my hatred for certain LDS hymns *cough Kolob cough*) Like I said, I know I am going to be a long while in purgatory for some of these opinions. But at least I will be among friends:)
