My Life in PA School

And that about sums it up. 

My Semita Vitae, My Business

I have decided that a renaming of the vagina is in order. As I have been studying (and studying and studying) anatomy I have noticed that there are several structures in the human body that have a derivative of the word "vagina" in them, most notably the "tunica vaginalis" (I mean, aside from the actual vagina, obviously). Which of course got me to pondering on the etymology of the word vagina. So being the awesome procrastinator that I am, I decided to look up its meaning. Turns out "vagina" is Latin for...sheath.

Cue exasperated sigh of disappointment. Yeah, sheath. As in, a place to hold your sword. (When you're not using it for real work, I guess?) What the hell Latin dudes of old?! Is that all women were to you- glorified sword holders? How do you say "lame" in Latin?

So rather than take my lot in life and have my anatomy named according to its relationship to the male of the species, I have decided to overrule centuries of tradition and medical education and rename the vagina.

From henceforth, it shall be known as the Semita Vitae, or Semita for short. And what, you might ask, is the meaning of Semita Vitae? It happens to be Latin for "Path of Life", or just "Pathway" when you shorten it.

I personally think this name is much more descriptive and less male-centric than "sheath" any day. You may or may not walk on that path, and children may or may not be born from it, but it is a path unique to every woman, and much more than just some dude's sword holder.

Cue triumphant music and cheers.

No? Okay, well I guess it's back to studying for me then....

On a final note, the Latin word for Penis actually means tail, not sword. So their own naming system didn't even make sense to begin with, unless I am missing something really important about tails...

Cardiomegaly (Non-Pathological)

I recently learned that this was my friend Skyler's motto:

"I live my life with one motto. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated and never judge anyone unless you've lived their life. I have a huge-ass heart and I love people. I love making them smile. Because life is way too short."

I say I learned this was his motto but really anyone who knew Skyler could see it was by the way he lived it. He loved and accepted everybody he met unconditionally. He was always that way growing up, but I feel like he emulated it even more in the past 5 or 6 years. I don't know for sure but I think this is because he learned to stop judging himself. Which sounds like an easy task, until I stop to think about all the time that I spend worried about what other people think of me.

The truth is that I am far more judgmental of me than anyone else. And that might not be a big deal, except that it in turn affects the way I interact with other people. I'm afraid they will judge me, so instead of giving them the chance I stay quiet and reserved, so they won't have much to go off. But even that plan backfires because then I look like a stuck up snob who won't open up to others.

Sometimes I feel like I have spent all my life trying to play by the rules, cross all the "t"s and dot all the "i"s, all the while missing the entire point behind the "rules". The rules are there to help you play the game, but they are NOT the game. The game is the thing. The game is messy and fun and mistakes are made and points are gained or lost and sometimes you win and sometimes you get hurt. But if you are so focused on the rules you miss the point and the excitement and vitality of the game.

I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm not a sports person so the metaphor is probably off. But I guess what I want to say is that I hope that I can someday be the person that Skyler managed to become so early in life. I hope to get better at opening my heart to others, because when I leave this world I want to leave a huge-ass heart behind. Just like Skyler did. My life is blessed for having known him.

You were right Skyler, life is too short. It was way too short for you and everyone who knew and loved you is now painfully aware of that. You will always be missed. But every time I miss you, I will also smile, because the memory of your example will help me to grow my heart a little bit more. I hope that when I see you again I will have a heart as huge-assed as yours. I love you always, my creek-tubing, wahoo-flipping, 2-am-visiting, cinnamon bear in a red speedo :)

http://www.heraldextra.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/skyler-philip-shimmin/article_c62e38d7-b27f-50a4-9a6e-b5d530d55a36.html

A Short History of Connecticut

Connecticut is a state in the United States of America.

It is home to a higher education institution called Quinnipiac University

Quinnipiac University has a Physician Assistant Program

The PA program has accepted me into their class of 2017!

(I have no idea who this little girl is but she is super cute)

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

Also slightly terrified, shocked, amazed, dumbfounded and relieved. Is there one word for all of that? : )

I imagine that once I get to Connecticut (my classes start May 18th) I will have loads more history and interesting things to tell you about it. But for now this is, to me, the most important information about it.  

Highs and Lows

It turns out apathy and depression look an awful lot alike. So the fact that the phrase "no me nace" was suddenly resonating with me last time I posted makes a lot more sense.

I'm doing much better now. Once I realized what the problem was I was able to visit with my doctor, make some adjustments, and get back to being (somewhat) productive, and much more enthused about life in general.

I've never written about having depression, for a lot of reasons. First and foremost is because I have tried not to make it the defining feature of my life. I think I have succeeded in this overall, because I find that when I do tell people they tend to be somewhat surprised. I'm taking that as a good sign, not that I am doing a good job of hiding it, but that I am living a productive, happy life in spite of depression. That's my goal anyway.

I also haven't written about it because I feel like depression is a different experience for everyone. So my experience of depression may not be true for someone else who has it. That makes it hard to generalize.

The way I have come to see it is that everyone gets out of bed in the morning on the same level. Lets say level 5 on a 1-10 scale. Whether they go up or down from there is really their own decision. They can make it a level 9 day if they want to or they can take the opposite tack and make it a miserable level 2 day. For someone who has depression, they don't have the luxury of waking up at level 5. Most days, they wake up at level 3, or lower. So to get to a level 8 day takes much more work. When that continues day in and day out it gets to be so exhausting that you're lucky if you even make it to level 5 most days. And that gets even more exhausting, and the cycle continues until eventually you don't even want to get out of bed at all. Screw the levels, I'm exhausted from all this climbing!

For me, that is where medication comes in. Taking a pill allows me to wake up at level 5. It puts me on the same playing field as most everyone else. And ultimately, just like everyone else, I am responsible for whether I go up or down that day.

And lets be honest, some days I (and you too!) choose to go down. That's ok. Bad things happen and we get grumpy and we want to sit and wallow in our own misery for a bit. The difference is at that point I can't blame it on my depression. Because I know full well that I chose to go down to the pits of despair. I didn't wake up there. So eventually I will put on my big girl panties, take responsibility for myself, and climb back up to where I need to be.

That's what makes sense to me anyway. I don't know if that view works for everyone, but what it does for me is make allowances for a legitimate illness without letting that illness control my life or define who I am. It allows me to scale mountains that depression would have me believe are impossible for me.

And speaking of mountains, I crossed one off my List of Possibilities just a few weeks ago.

I hiked Timpanogos!!

(This is the view of what the very top looks like from the back side.)

My roommates and I all have birthdays that fall within one month of each other so we decided to celebrate them by doing something that all of us have always wanted to do but never had the chance to before. 

Man we were stupid : ) We should have gone out to dinner, or had a spa day, but instead we woke up before the crack of dawn and spent all day scaling a mountain, with no prior experience, carrying way too much stuff, and going about as slow as possible without moving backwards. 

But it was worth it.

These are some of the views from the top.

Looking toward Deer Creek Reservoir and Heber Valley.

 Utah Lake and surrounding valley.

As it turns out, it was kind of a monumental hike for all 3 of us. Each of us had been facing some challenges: depression, discouragement, not succeeding in our endeavors and other general disappointments. As cheesy as it sounds, scaling the mountain taught each of us lessons that we needed to learn. 

Me, Katie and Karen

I won't go into the cheesy lessons. You kind of had to be there. But suffice it to say that at the end of the day, I was there and I was happy I made it. 

That's my name. 3rd from the bottom. (Notice the age: 30! aaahhhh!)

I forgot to take a picture of myself at the very top so here is a picture of the shack at the top taken from my phone, to prove I was there : )

All in all it has been an eventful summer and fall, with unexpected highs and lows. I am glad to have moved back toward the higher end. Or at least toward more balance. And as much as I know that my life might have been easier if depression had never entered it, I also know that I will always be grateful for the lessons it has taught me. As much as I have tried over the years to not let it define me I can't deny that it has shaped me. And I am not sorry for the person I have become. 

I hope that each of you are having success in learning lessons in cheesy ways. If you ever need a friend to hike a proverbial mountain with, I'm there for you. 

Como Se Dice Apathy?

So I previously mentioned that I was going to expound to you the beauty of the Spanish phrase No me nace (Pronounced No May NAW Say, roughly). This has turned out to be more than a bit ironic because the phrase roughly translates to "I don't want to." And that is pretty much how I feel about everything lately. 

I need to reapply to PA school but I don’t want to (I managed to get an interview this last application cycle, but ultimately didn't get in). I need to write those blog posts I said I would write, but I don't want to. I need to make some positive changes in my life, but I don't want to. Blah.

The thing about the phrase no me nace is that while it translates as “I don't want to” it is actually much more poetic and full in its original language. A more literal translation would be "It is not born of me", as if desire was a budding life form that required a human incubator to come into existence. In that sense, no me nace is a more powerful descriptor than a simple I don't want to. 

I'm not quite sure how to feel about that, considering that no me nace has become the chief refrain of my life lately. I think I would be more worried about it if I was feeling really depressed or sad or something. But except for that slightly worrying and atypical lack of desire within me, I think I am doing ok. I just apparently have become quite dispassionate about everything. Is that normal?

Then again, I did manage to write a blog post. I guess I’ll take that as a good sign : )

Elephants Must Have Large Homes

Have you ever heard of a Memory Palace? If not, don't worry. You'll probably hear about it again soon. That's thanks to the Bader-Meinhoff effect. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

The idea of a Memory Palace has its start in the ancient Greek poet Simonides. The short version of the story is that Simonides was reciting his poetry at a big shin-dig of some important people of the time and he fortuitously stepped outside for a bit right as a huge earthquake struck. The earthquake toppled the building, killing everybody inside. With the bodies being so badly mangled, they weren't sure how they were going to be able to identify anyone. Fortunately, Simonides was able to solve this problem by picturing in his mind where everybody had been sitting. Thus, all the bodies were identified and a new memory device was realized.

By attaching the memory of the people to a physical location, Simonides inadvertently created the concept of a Memory Palace. Usually when we remember something we do so by repetition (saying that phone number over and over until you can write it down, assuming you don’t have a pen or cell phone handy) or mnemonic devices ("If red touches black, you're ok jack, If red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow" to remember how to distinguish the coloring of a coral snake from that of a king snake, the former of which is venomous. I evidently expected coral snakes to be a much bigger problem in my life than they have thus far, since I instantly committed this mnemonic to memory the first time I heard it. Now that I think about it, a far easier and more practical mnemonic would have been "don't touch snakes in the wild." Problem solved, no rhymes needed. But then I would have to put more important information in its place and that just isn’t practical :)

Anyway, back to Simonides’ inadvertent discovery of the memory palace. Instead of remembering information in the ways listed above, with a memory palace you attach memories to visual concepts. So for example, if you want to remember all of the cranial nerves you would first imagine a palace in your mind (or house as the case may be). Then you would place that cranial nerve in a specific location in that house.  So for me the Vagus nerve (which in my imagination is a grey stringy nerve wearing a white Elvis suit ) would be placed in the kitchen because it is responsible for innervating certain organs in your gut, which is where food goes.  Then, when you need to remember the nerves it is just a matter of walking through your memory palace and seeing what you put in each room or area.

I think it is a fascinating concept and I am working on putting it in to practice in certain ways in my life. It is actually a bit more complicated than outlined above, because some concepts are hard to visualize. For example, if you wanted to remember a bunch of the digits of pi you would first have to come up with a way of visualizing a number. There are workarounds for this but it is a bit time consuming in the beginning.

The concept of memory palaces is interesting in and of itself, but I actually bring it up because of another phenomenon that it highlights. You see, I was recently watching an episode of Sherlock (which is a fantastic show except for the fact that there are only three seasons with three episodes each and I have already gone through all of them on a Netflix binge : ( Also, the fourth season isn’t coming out for another two years because the stars of the show shot to fame after Sherlock first aired and now they are busy making movies about Hobbits and winning Oscars. Sigh, first world problems…)

Anyway, Sherlock himself uses a memory palace to house his vast collection of knowledge and recall seemingly minute details of things. When I was watching the episode in which they first mentioned this I had a vague sense of Déjà vu because they were treating the concept as a new one, but I had heard of memory palaces before. In fact, I read a book about them not long ago called Moonwalking With Einstein.  It’s a pretty good book if you are interested.

I’ve had this experience before of learning about a concept or an idea that I have never heard before and then inexplicably hearing about it again shortly thereafter. Apparently there is a name for it: The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.

The Phenomenon takes its name from a movie called the Baader-Meinhof Complex, which is based on the true story of a West German militant/terrorist group that was active in the late 1960s.  You can click here for more information on the movie, but the plot line is actually unimportant to the concept of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, which is basically the experience I described above about memory palaces.  A person learns something new (like memory palaces, or coral snake stripe patterns) and then shortly thereafter comes across it again (while watching an episode of Sherlock or reading an article about camouflage.)

It’s not really that the information is coming up more often than it would ordinarily. The concept of memory palaces has been around for ages after all. It’s that your mind is really good at finding patterns, so that when you hear about memory palaces twice in a short amount of time your mind tells you that it is more than just a coincidence, even though it’s really not.  

I do think that in the case of memory palaces there is something more going on than just the coincidence of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. It seems to be becoming more common knowledge than just a random fact to share at the water cooler, and more like a permanent fixture in society’s collective consciousness. I can’t really explain it better than that but it does get me interested in the idea of how knowledge spreads. Now there’s an interesting topic (since I have likely bored you to death with this post already. Kudos to you for making it this far).

Oh, I forgot to mention how the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon got its name:  It was coined by a guy who heard about the Baader-Meinhof Complex (the movie) twice in a 24 hour period and experienced that same weird sense of déjà vu.

Anyway, to recap what we have learned from this post: 1. Start watching Sherlock (I need someone to analyze it with me!) 2. Don’t touch wild animals 3. I am the queen of useless information (seriously, now I know all of this information on the Baader-Meinhoff Phenomenon, on top of other useless information I have stored through the years (Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species…Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezey, Bashful, Doc…Ice-cream sales go up in the winter… the heart of a giraffe weighs 25 pounds….seriously, this list goes on and on) but do I know any more about Biochemistry, which I should have been studying? No. Queen of self-defeating behavior at least.) 4. You are probably going to hear about something from this post in the next few days or weeks. Now you know why. Assuming the contents of this post are now safely stored away in your memory palace : )

PS- As a reminder to myself, here are some other things I ought to tell you about in upcoming posts: The beauty of the Spanish phrase No Me Nace, the awesomeness of moon cups, an item in Spain on my List of Possibilities, and why the Everglades are probably glad that Americans eat cows. Oh, and maybe a brief update on my life and goals, brief being the operative word.  Happy best day of the year! 

Hey Beastie Boys: Make Them Bring It Back!

The best part of the advertisement below, that is. Which is the re-write of the Beastie Boys' infamous 1987 hit "Girls." You know, that irritatingly catchy tune with lyrics like "Girls- to do the dishes, Girls- to clean up my room" and other misogynistic crap like that? Count yourself lucky if your ears have never been blighted by that little ditty : (

Mine unfortunately have, which is the main reason I loved this advertisement when I first saw it a few weeks ago. The video is called "Princess Machine" and it is for a product called Goldie Blox, a building set similar to Legos, developed specifically for girls. The idea behind them is to get girls interested in science and engineering at an early age to hopefully spur them to become leaders (or at least more present) in these fields. (Kind of a big job for some building blocks, but it's a start I guess.)

The ad features 3 friends building a Rube Goldberg type machine to change the channel from some other advertisement trying to sell them pink "girly" things. You can watch it below.

Or maybe here if the video isn't linking. 

There are some great things about the ad: the girls working together to build an awesome machine, their rejection of the idea that all girls must like dolls and pink things, the fact that they are still portrayed as little girls (not masculinized tom-boys) even though they don't fit the "traditional mold", etc. But the very best part of the ad, the re-write of that awful song, has sadly been removed. 

Apparently Goldie Blox didn't get permission before posting the song and some legal tussles ensued, with the end result being that the music in the ad was changed to what you just watched. Which, let's be honest, was kind of boring. 

But not to worry, I am posting the lyrics here for you to learn. Not because I believe that a toy can change the course of a girl's life (I don't), or that girls shouldn't play with dolls or want to be princesses (I don't). Not even because I really don't like the color pink (I don't. But I respect your right to like it). No, I am posting the lyrics for you so that when that awful song starts to play you can stop the internal screaming in your head (oh, is that just me?) and instead sing along with the new, more empowering lyrics:

Girls, you think you know what we want

Girls, pink and pretty, its girls

Just like the fifties its girls

You like to buy us pink toys

And everything else is for boys

And you can always get us dolls

And we'll grow up like them, false

It's time to change

We deserve to see a range

Cause all our toys look just the same

And we would like to use our brains

We are all more than princess maids

Girls, to build a spaceship

Girls, to code the new app

Girls, to grow up knowing

Girls, that they can engineer that

Girls, that's all we really need is girls*

To bring us up to speed its girls

Our opportunity is girls

Don't underestimate girls

Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls

And I am asking the Beastie Boys to atone for the crimes committed against humanity when they penned that horrible song** and let Goldie Blox air their new, improved version for the betterment of mankind! 

I mean, the idea is that a girl can dream, right?

* While I do love these lyrics overall, I disagree with some of the unstated messages in it, like that the fifties was a universally horrible time for girls or that boys are not really necessary/needed. But given that it's either this version or the original, I'll take the lesser of two evils.

**I am pretty sure that the Beastie Boys have repented of their chauvinist ways and are committed to lots of charitable causes these days, which is awesome, but I still think they should let Goldie Blox use this song.  

Hello Again (Ready For Lots Of Ellipses?)

Yeah, its been awhile. In my defense, its hard to come up with something to write about that tops a safari in Africa. And I'm not gonna do it with this post so don't get your hopes up. But at least it will get us past that awkward stage where we are waiting for me to top my last great adventure. And with me great adventures happen fairly infrequently, so we could otherwise be waiting quite awhile.

So I will tell you about the little adventures of the last year or so:

* I got a brand new niece ( Actually, this happened while I was in Africa but I am just now realizing that I neglected to post about her. Her name is Sage and once she learned how to sleep she became absolutely adorable. She has the chubbiest, most squishable cheeks ever, but I do try to restrain myself from squishing them too much because I am trying to establish myself as her favorite aunt : )

* I moved to Provo (my brother likes to point out that it is exactly 4.5 miles from my parent's house. I like to point out that he can shut up : )

* I bought a kayak and have thus far succeeded at not drowning myself (probably because I bought it late in the season and was only able to take it out 3 times. Hopefully next season I will continue my not drowning streak.)

* I paid off my car loan (Not a huge deal really, but there was something very satisfying about receiving the full title in the mail with my name on it.)

 * I finally took (and passed) that dreaded organic chemistry class that was one of the reasons I changed my major in college (from Biology to Community Health Education). (I must say that I don't regret changing my major and I really think CHE is a much better fit for me, I just find it ironic that I am now having to go back and take those dreaded classes anyway. Live and learn I guess.)

* I also took (and passed) anatomy from the dreaded Dr. Shively at UVU (A school which reminds me just how lucky I am to have been an Aggie. As for Shively's anatomy class, that is a post for another day, but for now I will just say that he is not the arrogant monster people make him out to be. But his tests really are monstrous.)

* I studied for and took the GRE. (Didn't do so well on that one. Probably gonna have to keep working on it and take it again. grr.)

* I overcame my shyness and absolute hatred of asking anybody for favors for any reason (seriously, I would rather run a marathon, and we all know how I feel about running) and gathered 3 letters of recommendation and

* I officially applied to Physician Assistant School.

I am nervous about sharing that last one because even though I don't think of myself as superstitious I am probably the  textbook definition of it and I really don't want to jinx anything. But it has been a very long and difficult process for me to get to the point where I was even willing to throw myself into the ring to compete. So even if I don't make it in I can at least be proud of the fact that I tried.

Honestly, I really don't know how great my chances are (especially with my less than stellar GRE scores). It is extremely competitive- like thousands of applicants for 30-90 spots at each school. But I am trying to maintain a positive attitude and hope to at least get an interview. That way I will at least have a chance to win them over with my....uh...witty banter...and...um...non-ugliness? Oh and I'm not disgusted by most bodily fluids...so I've got that going for me : )

Anyway, if you believe in prayer, or wishing wells, or that thing that Oprah does where she sends out positive vibes into the world so she gets what she wants, maybe you could do that for me and help get me into PA school. I promise that if I do I will continue to answer all your probing questions only this time I will actually know what I am talking about when it comes to the medical ones : )

Safari

Well, I finally found the CDs my pictures were on so here is a little sampling of my Safari in Tanzania.

On day one, we headed out from Arusha toward Lake Manyara National Park. Having been to every national park in a 500 mile radius of Utah I wasn't so excited about this. I wanted to get to the Serengeti!

But before we even got to the park, we saw this guy and some of his friends on the side of the road. 

They are kind of like deer are around here only maybe a little more rare. That is, they mostly stay in the wild and don't get close to people but you will occasionally see some close to the road. 

When we actually got to the park I was a bit more excited when we saw some of these:

They were in troops of about 25 just chilling by the side of the road near a stream. It was pretty cool and I decided I liked Lake Manyara National Park a lot : ) I was happily watching these little guys when I caught something moving out of the corner of my eye. 

I glanced over and saw AN ELEPHANT!!!!!! 

It was an insane, surreal moment. I was standing in a Land Rover with 6 other people, looking out of the retractable roof, watching an elephant as tall as the car come lumbering toward us. In what kind of crazy situation does that ever happen?! That's when it hit me that I was on SAFARI!!!! In AFRICA!! AMAZING!

Here's a video of the moment:

When the Elephant walked past us, he stopped to drink from the stream and as he left he sprayed water at us. I think he must be used to tourists.

As we continued through Lake Manyara we saw lots of other animals- several kinds of monkeys, impala, zebra, dik-dik, gazelle, more giraffes and elephants, birds, and hippos. Some of them were too far away for my camera to get good pictures of but here are a few. 

The picture above is of zebras and a few wildebeest but it also showcases the Great Rift Valley, which stretches for hundreds of miles across Africa. It was another surreal moment as it sank in that I was standing in a place that I had read about in textbooks thousands of miles away. It was the abstract becoming real

As we left Lake Manyara that evening the hippos were coming out of the lake and wandering through the streams looking for food. The round looking rock in the picture below is actually the backside of a hippo. 

The next day we headed out to the Serengeti. (Which I did not know is also a National Park). This picture doesn't want to center, but here is a view of the Serengeti from a rocky outcrop. 

 

Serengeti means "endless plain" in Masaai and I would definitely agree with that description. When we first pulled in all you could see was a vast parched plain, not unlike parts of southern Utah, intersected only by one long dirt road stretching forever into the horizon. I wasn't sure how we were going to see any wildlife. Eventually you find little turn offs that take you to small watering holes and more rocky outcrops. It is pretty much exactly like what you see in The Lion King. 

The first creature we saw in the Serengeti (besides more gazelles) was this terrifying beast:

That's an ostrich and they are perhaps the scariest looking animal I have ever seen. My safari friends laughed when I told them that those birds are the stuff of nightmares, but I was dead serious. First off, they are HUGE. Like over six feet tall. And their bodies are MASSIVE! There is no way that their bodies weigh less than 200 lbs. Then they have these giant reptile like feet with talons on them that will rip your guts out. And their heads look like velociraptors. I don't have any problems with birds in general, but these things really freak me out. So I was a little nervous when I learned that we would be camping in the Serengeti. Outdoors. With the wild animals. In tents. 

Actually I wasn't really all that concerned about the animals, I just really don't like camping. My philosophy is if you are within 100 miles of a hotel why on earth would you sleep on the hard ground in the freezing cold only to wake at the crack of dawn with your neck kinked and your muscles feeling like you spent the night wrestling a bear?

Fortunately for my safari friends we weren't within 100 miles of a hotel so we camped. Here is proof:

See how excited I look?

And we actually awoke before the crack of dawn to see the sunrise on the Serengeti. Now, I am not what you would call a morning person. I have been on more than one sunrise hike and hated every one of them. Mainly because you get up during prime sleeping time to trudge through wet bushes and sit on the hard ground while the sun "comes up." Except the sun doesn't "come up" because you are in Utah and the mountains block its rising. So it just gets gradually lighter as you grumpily sit in silence with a bunch of exhausted, equally un-enthused teenage girls while shooting daggers with your eyes at the loopy leaders who made you do this and tried to force it to be a spiritual experience.  Needless to say, I did not have high expectations for sunrise on the Serengeti. 

I was pleasantly surprised.

Because it is a flat plain, the sun rises like a burning orange ball from the ground and illuminates the vast, quiet world around you. It was truly beautiful and I am so glad I got to experience it. 

After watching the sunrise we went out looking for more animals and hit the mother lode: Lions, feasting on a fresh kill of Zebra.

There were two lionesses and at least 8 cubs enjoying their breakfast and we got to see it up close and personal. Its amazing how close you can actually get to these wild animals. This picture shows a good perspective.

Lions get completely exhausted after they eat. They are like a combination of Americans after Thanksgiving and the laziest house cat you ever saw. You get tired just watching them walk! 

The cubs have significantly more energy though.

We spent the rest of the day driving out of the Serengeti and toward Ngorongoro Crater. This was a hyena saying goodbye. (I think hyenas look really cool and The Lion King definitely doesn't do them justice.)

Before going to Tanzania I had never heard of Ngorongoro Crater but it is actually very well known and has a large concentration of different species. The first one we saw was this baboon, mocking the sign he was sitting on by eating food he had stolen from a tourist on it. (Sorry about his indecency). 

They are actually very serious about this and if they catch you purposely feeding the animals you get fined. I wouldn't attempt it anyway because baboons are actually pretty intimidating. Not ostrich scary, but definitely not puppy cute either : )

I included this picture because everyone in East Africa LOVES Obama. So you see him everywhere. Probably more than you do in the US. 

These elephants wandered into our campsite and helped themselves to the water in our tanks. (Yes, we camped twice on this journey. I think that fills my quota for the next decade) 

Good thing we brought bottled water to drink : )

These "rocks" are actually hippos. They spend most of the day like this and only leave at night to go foraging.  They are surprisingly uglier than I expected, mostly because their ears are sort of red and inflamed, kind of like baboon bottoms. Still pretty cool though, and the babies are adorable.

We caught the tail end of the great migration, where the wildebeest and zebra move by the hundreds of thousands into Kenya. They go together because the wildebeest know the way and the zebra don't but the wildebeest have really poor vision so they rely on the zebra to help get them there. 

I would have figured that zebra were smart enough to figure out the way themselves, but after watching a zebra leave the safety of his heard and go wandering off on his own while two lionesses were stalking him I can believe that zebra are too stupid to know the way. Seriously, even after he saw the lionesses he kept wandering farther and farther away from his heard. And it took them forever to move out of the way of our vehicle. Not very bright creatures at all. 

We saw a lot more creatures on the last day of Safari, including more lions, flamingos, crocodiles, and rhinos, but I wasn't able to get great pictures of them. The rhinos are especially shy and don't come close enough to see well without binoculars. But here is a picture of some warthogs we saw.

And that was my safari (which means "journey" in Swahili by the way). And it was a great journey. If you ever wondered if you should go on a safari, my answer would be: YES! Most definitely! It was incredible and I sometimes still can't believe it really happened. I guess that means I will have to go again someday, just  to make sure : )

Baobabs

I still haven’t found my picture CDs but the good news is that they are backed up on the team computer in Tanzania and I can get them when the rest of the team comes back. That will be sometime in the next couple weeks. In the meantime I thought I would tell you about Baobab trees.

I first heard about Baobab trees when I read The Little Prince. In fact, the Baobab trees are about the only thing I remember from that story. Mainly because I was reading it in Spanish and my comprehension skills at the time in that language were…non-existent. I remember that the little prince talks about weeding out Baobab trees on his planet and I assumed they were something he made up, because they were so fantastical. They were giant trees that took up massive amounts of space and overtook everything in their path. (Or something along those lines. Like I said, I was reading in a language I didn’t understand.)

So I was surprised to learn that Baobabs are real trees and they are massive. So massive in fact that people have hollowed out the trunks and put things inside like bars or bathrooms. They don’t get particularly tall (about 100 ft.) but the trunks can obviously be very big around (35 ft in diameter). They also don’t really overtake other things because they tend to grow where nothing else will, often way out in the desert. They have a special tap root that digs down really deep to get to water that other plants can’t reach. Because of this they can survive long periods of drought, which are frequent in their native lands of Africa and Australia.

They are pretty distinctive and easy to pick out of any landscape. Most of the year they don’t have leaves and their branches are short and stubby and look like they should be part of the root system. In fact there are several African folktales that reference this. One says that God gave a specific tree to every animal and whichever animal got the Baobab was so disappointed with it that he tore it out of the ground and planted it upside down. And that is how it grows to this day.

Baobabs are actually pretty useful trees as well. They can be tapped for water in dry years with little harm done to the tree. (There are actually baobabs that have survived half their trunks being cut away by elephants digging at them. It makes them look funny but they just keep growing. ) Their bark can be made into string and woven into fabric. They offer a good degree of shelter. And their seeds are encased in pith that is high in nutrients like vitamins B and C. They actually encourage kids to eat it by coating it in red sugar and making it into a candy. (It’s not very good, but that may be because when I ate it nobody told me you are supposed to spit the seed out and just eat the pith : )

When I learned that Baobabs are real I put them in my journal on my “List of Possibilities.” It’s a list I keep of things I want to do or see or experience sometime. (Not to be confused with a bucket list, which to me is a little too much like a checklist. I don’t expect that I will see or do or experience everything on my List of Possibilities before I die, but that isn’t the point. It’s about dreaming and hope and even if I never see phosphorescence on the ocean at night or a green flash sunset, at least the possibility will have existed for me.) Anyway, it was really exciting when I came across my List while in Africa and was able to make a note that I did see baobabs! Lots of them. And they are as weird and gnarly as I imagined.

So the Little Prince and I differ on our opinions of Baobabs. He went about plucking them up like they were weeds. Me? I brought some seeds home and am going to plant one. I don’t know if it will work but “climb a Baobab” is now on my List of Possibilities and maybe, with a little luck, I will get to.

No Pictures!

I have been back from Africa for a few weeks now and was getting all ready to post some awesome pictures from my safari... but I can't seem to find them. I'm almost certain that I didn't leave them in Tanzania but no matter where I look that I might have put them I come up empty handed. Sooooo... no pictures for now. Sorry : ( On the bright side I did make it back home safe and sound and pretty healthy. I actually didn't get sick until my last week and even then it wasn't too bad. And I have passed the incubation period for Malaria so I am not likely going to get that either (knock on wood).

I will give you more details on my adventure soon, and (hopefully) pictures. For now I will just say Africa was a great experience I'm glad I got to have and I hope it won't be my last.

In Africa

The internet is really slow, especially when it comes to uploading pictures and videos. As a result you won’t get to see any of my pictures until I get back. Which is not a huge loss because I am not a great photographer anyway.

The women really do wear traditional skirts and carry baskets on their heads.

The humidity is intense. Like sweating when you walk out the door humidity. But it also creates a very lush and tropical environment. We live next to a field of coffee beans and banana trees.

The roads really are unpaved and rutted and you bounce along them any time you are in a vehicle. Which isn’t often because people walk everywhere.

Time is not as strict or important as it is in America. Today we were looking at planning something for the last week in July, which is not all that far away really, and the person we were talking to said, “ah, we can plan that later, we are not even to July yet.”

People are not as task oriented as they are in America. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. We recently demolished an old structure and we were determined to finish it in one day. The natives we were working with were satisfied with the work that had been accomplished by quitting time but we were unable to see any value in what we had done until the job was finished. So we finished it and were proud of ourselves and the natives impressed. But I think in the future I will try to be satisfied with the work I do each day, even if I don’t complete it all according to my timetable.

Boys and girls have very similar haircuts and so are sometimes difficult to tell apart. In the schools the girls wear skirts so that helps.

The clouds are fairly constant so its hard to see the stars. I have seen them once, but since it is the southern hemisphere they are strangely unfamiliar.

There are no McDonalds, Wendys, Pizza Hut, or chain stores. There is a “Wall Mart” but it is most definitely not the one based out of Arkansas : ) I’m not a critic of capitalism but it is nice to see a part of the world untouched by those aspects of globalization.

Soap doesn't lather the same way. My skin seems to be developing some kind of waxy protective coating in response. Hopefully that will wash off when I am home : )

People are incredibly friendly and helpful. It is rare to pass someone on the street without hearing “Jambo” (Hello) or “Karibu” (Welcome) or some other greeting. People will go out of their way to help you for just about anything and expect nothing in return.

People are not as poverty stricken as I expected. This is probably because I am in a touristy area that provides a steady income for many people. Most people are able to provide for themselves and their children and many people take in those who can’t. It is not a life of luxury for most people but neither is it one of complete destitution.

You have to look carefully for wildlife. I didn’t think there was much until somebody pointed out the monkeys in the trees above the fruit stand and a little boy brought a chameleon into the yard on a stick. Hopefully I won’t be so oblivious to it when I am on Safari this weekend.

I am learning and experiencing a lot of new things. Hopefully I will be able to share more of them with you later.

Shoes

I've been thinking about shoes lately because I've been trying to find the perfect pair for Africa- cheap because they are going to get trashed, but sturdy enough to see me through two months and lots of mud, and comfortable enough to not want to wear flip flops because apparently that makes it easy for parasites to get into your feet. I'd like to avoid that if possible.

So I think these shoes won't work.

(On a side note- it is really difficult to take pictures of your own feet. Also, I would apologize for my ugly feet but I think pretty much all feet are ugly so what can I say.)

These are the "new shoes" that I was going to write about a while ago (like, last fall...) but I forgot. Then all this thinking about shoes put me in memory of them so I thought I would tell you about them.

Awhile ago I read a book called "Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen." The author's whole premise is that mankind has evolved to be a creature that runs. Not just in short bursts like Cheetahs, but for long periods of time, like Energizer Bunnies. It's an interesting theory and I liked the book pretty well because it also told the story of the Tarahumara Indians of northern Mexico who demonstrate this idea pretty well and run marathons in shoes made of old tires. And they apparently don't really get tired and don't get injured, which according to the author is because they essentially run barefoot or in these cheap homemade tire shoes.

Partly due to the book's huge success a large following of "barefoot runners" has emerged and they are convinced that the best way to run (or walk or jog) is with as little padding on your feet as possible. The idea is that if your feet can feel the ground they can make compensations for differences in terrain and you won't have as many injuries because you are learning to run in a way that prevents injury. They of course have claims about how amazing this style of running is and what a difference it makes and what not so I was intrigued and decided to try out some "invisible sandals" (as seen above- so much for that claim).

You can actually buy a kit to make your own here. But being the cheapskate that I am I was not willing to shell out 12 bucks plus shipping for some tire treads and strings. So I made my own to test them out first. That way, if going barefoot really was amazing I would know the 12 bucks was worth it before I coughed up the money.

So I made my pair out of thick craft foam ($1 per sheet) and some shoelaces I had lying around. And added a leaf button for decor. Then I went for a run (of like 30 seconds because mankind may have evolved to be a running creature but I most certainly did not!)

And my verdict? Well, I'm glad I saved myself 12 dollars (also the embarrassment of buying this type of barefoot shoe, which operates on the same premise but is significantly more hideous.)

They weren't terrible as far as shoes go, and if I ever find myself barefoot on a deserted island I might want to fashion something similar, but needless to say I am not a barefoot convert. The front part of the shoe kept rolling under my foot and tripping me and even though I didn't get any burrs or rocks coming through the sole, I still felt them when I stepped on them. And I didn't notice much difference one way or the other as far as how my feet and legs felt afterward. (Technically, the barefoot runners say you are supposed to stick it out for awhile and that your body takes time to adjust but we all know I am too impatient for that.)

So I will stick to my evil flip flops and cheap cross trainers. Except in Africa- I think I found some loafers that will work for me over there. Three weeks to go...

To Africa!

Tanzania to be specific. Home of the Serengeti, Mount Kilimanjaro, and me for six weeks this summer. I'm going on a humanitarian trip with a group called Help International which focuses on fighting poverty through Entrepreneurship, Education, and lucky for me, Health.

I have always wanted to travel internationally and have been fascinated by Africa for years, but I always lacked either time or money. Since I am employed at a type of school (which oddly is the last place I ever wanted to work, but I find I actually don't mind it) I get 6 weeks off in the summer. Money still doesn't grow on trees (last I checked) but I do have more of it these days than I have before so I figure I had better get on the ball and take advantage of the opportunity.

I still don't have all the details worked out as far as the projects I will be working on but they will be health related and I will most likely be helping in a clinic that treats rural Masai villagers. I may also be working on some public health campaigns like teaching first aid or sanitation. I'm really excited to get to work in both the clinical health and public health areas because I have been trying to decide which one I want to devote the rest of my life (or at least the next few years of school) to and I am hoping this experience will help me decide.

I'm also glad to get the opportunity to help others. I feel like I have been living the last few years for myself and focusing solely on what I need and what I want to do. I'm hoping this experience will help me get a better balance and focus a little less on myself. (I also realize that this is a somewhat selfish desire in itself- I want to do x because thinking about others will be good for me. But that's pretty much how I went in to my mission (thinking about what it could do for me) and that turned out ok in the end. I may have gone for selfish reasons but I stayed for the right reasons.) Anyway, hopefully this experience will turn out similarly.

Now you may be asking yourself, "Self, how can I help Linds in her humanitarian expedition? She has kept me entertained on countless occasions, surely there is something I can do for her." You weren't thinking that? Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway : )

There are three ways that you can help me help others. The first is by donating to Help International under my name. The instructions for doing so can be found here (Be aware that if you donate through pay-pal they charge a 2-3% transaction fee, which will be deducted from the total donation). The money that you donate will be used to fund projects and supplies that will directly benefit the local people (I don't earn any money for my time and I have to pay my own way).

The second, and more fun way, is to come with me! Seriously! I get a discount on my program fee for every person I recruit, whether they come to Tanzania with me or go to another country like India, Thailand, Peru, Nicaragua, Fiji, Belize, etc. There are over 10 countries that Help International operates in. Just be sure to mention my name when you sign up : )

The third and final way you can help me in this endeavor is to hook me up with your airline miles. I still have to purchase plain tickets and travel to Tanzania ain't cheap. So if you have a bunch of frequent flier miles built up that you aren't using, or know someone who does, feel free to send them my way. I will definitely put them to good use.

Ok, I will stop the shameless soliciting now and move on to the personal thanks. I have to give a special shout out to Lacey who served as a personal reference for me and must have done a good job singing my praises because Help decided to let me go to Africa with them : ) Thanks, Lace!

If you decide to donate I will write you a personal shout out as well on this widely read and highly acclaimed blog : )

If you have questions about donating or the program in general feel free to contact me {lindsey lou s AT gmail dot com).

Now I have to get back to singing "Africa" by Toto (The words to which I did not realize are "I BLESS the rains down in Africa" not I MISS the rains down in Africa. I find myself slightly disappointed by this. )

Not As Fat As I Thought (Or, I Am My Own Worst Critic)

I randomly stumbled across an interesting website that I am now going to link to and encourage you to visit.

http://www.mybodygallery.com/

It is a gallery of photos of women of all different heights and weights and you can search for pictures of people with your same stats. It sounds weird and I thought I was going to be very depressed but I actually found the opposite. It made me feel a little better about my current body size.

See, I never worried about my weight or looks growing up. Beauty was always an odd concept to me and even now when somebody compliments my looks (which fortunately for me doesn't happen too often) I am not quite sure how to respond. Ex: "You have nice eyes." "Thanks...I grew them myself?" It's like complimenting someone on their height. They didn't really choose it or have much to do with it so how do you take credit for it? And weight wise I was maybe a little bigger than my friends but not enough to be made fun of or take much notice, so I never worried about it. Which was good because I had a kind of angst-y adolescence as it was so at least I didn't have to add self-esteem problems to the mix.

However, after going on a mission and eating copious amounts of Mexican food every day and packing on the pounds as a result and then graduating from college and getting depressed about not finding a job for 18 months and drowning my problems in too much food and not exercising or even sweating out a few calories by hiking up to campus everyday and then worrying about how I'm still single and probably will be forever because nobody finds fat, self-pittying "elderly" women attractive, I find that all of a sudden I have some self-esteem issues. Now, this is not to say that I am overcome by depression and self-loathing, and I am definitely NOT crying out for attention or begging you to tell me that I am gorgeous (I wouldn't believe you anyway. Cute I might believe. Gorgeous no.) Rather, it is just to say that I was really lucky for a long time not to have to worry about my image because overall I felt pretty good about myself. And I still do, I just find that lately I have been a little harder on myself than I have in the past.

And I have wondered what I would think of myself if I was somebody else and saw me. Would I think I was fat and grotesque or would I even notice that? So when I stumbled across this website and started looking at photos of girls who look like me I was pleasantly surprised. I think most of them look pretty good. So that must mean that I look ok too. And that made me feel better. I know it is cliche to say that they don't show girls who look like me in magazines and on tv but as I was looking at these other women I found myself thinking, "Hey, these girls look normal. They are what I see in real life every day." So then I didn't feel quite so bad about not looking like (insert waifish movie star name here).

So. There is my rant on my self-esteem issues. I'm sure you all wanted to be my internet psychologists and listen to me be self absorbed, right : ) But I figured that if I found the website to be so helpful then I ought to at least share it with the rest of you. You can consider my opinions of myself as an extra bonus :) Now if you'll excuse me I have to get my squishy, jiggly self to bed. I need my beauty rest you know ;)

*Update* So after posting this yesterday I read it again today and started to get paranoid that I was sharing too much info or weirding people out or something, which was definitely not the point. Mostly I think I just wanted to say I found the site that I linked to highly interesting and enlightening. I think in my head I am always comparing myself to people skinnier than me so of course I feel bad that I don't meet those standards. So when I looked at that sight and compared myself to people who looked like me I was judging myself in a less harsh light and was surprised by the results. Maybe you don't have this problem so none of it is relevant and you are thinking "Linds, you are just weird and I don't know what to make of this post." That's ok. I guess just consider it the price of reading my blog...sometimes you have to wade through the weird areas of my head to get to the good stuff (if there is good stuff...probably its all weird. But that's ok, there is a big underground of weirdness out there so maybe its relevant to somebody.)

Anyway, I also wanted to link to another site that I found fascinating. It shows pictures of people and tells whether they are underweight, normal, overweight, obese or morbidly obese according to their BMI. I won't go in to details about my problems with the BMI or my rant about the obesity "epidemic" right now because that would take forever and you don't want to get me started. But do check out this link:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

And feel free to tell me what you think, whether it is that I am off my rocker or should just quit worrying about beauty rest and try to just get enough rest to keep my frantic mind from going off on bizarre themes : )